Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Flash off and die

I dislike flash at the best of times. Although a very powerful technology for designing interactive websites, and product demonstrations for technology manufacturers, and does a great job for YouTube, it's usually used as a replacement for a keen sense of design, and a clever and informed use of powerful static elements.

But what really annoys me is the time it can take for Flash on a website to load, particularly when the website is Flash. Which it almost invariably doesn't need to be.

Here's a tip for all website designers out there: If you need to load a large Flash file in order for people to use your website, and you need to put up a notice saying "There's a lot to load, but it's worth the wait!" while this happens then you, sir (or madam), are an insensitive, incompetent, fashion-slave prick who should have been strangled at birth and you have failed as a website designer.

When www.dontclick.it can build an entire website in Flash in order to demonstrate a new interface paradigm, complete with exercises and documentation, and it takes less time to load than the front page of a website that could get by with nothing more obnoxious than an iframe because all it does is show information about mobile phones, you have cocked up enormously and need to be fed to distempered giant salmon with frigging laser beams on their heads.

Fuck off back to the lagoon you crawled out of, and may Rawhide And Bloody Bones find out where you live and eat your genitals.

And if anyone wants to complain that you can't do anything really cool without Flash because HTML is so limiting, all I have to say is: Your father was an orang-utan and your mother spent most of her life up against a wall with sailors, and you are as wrong as you can be.

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