I will (and frequently am) the first to remind people that sometimes obvious research needs to be done, just so that we can confirm what we all thought we already knew, and move on. But that doesn't remove the comedy value.
"Drinking may dampen short-term hearing: study" (ABC News Online).
Oh really? You mean it isn't just the loud music that makes people loud when they're pissed? I'm shocked! You mean that a depressant which numbs all the other nerves in your body numbs your hearing as well? No!
Hell, a slight feeling of detachment, touch and hearing, is usually the first sign I have that I'm getting drunk. No "may" about it.